please note: this is still a blog originally established to enjoy, create, discuss and otherwise promote scrapbooking.

and scrapbooking is an unfamilar beast in many respects, but i feel that it will happen soon. and when it does, i think it may be pretty big. maybe tonite. i'll let you know tomorrow if it happens. in the meantime, some poor-quality photos from (you know him...) mr. sub-standard digicam. he may not be the best, but he does work.

drew with grandpa

looks like she's trying to hit grandpa.

 

finally--she looks my way! :P

can you believe this is NOT "yet another accidental post"? i can hardly believe it myself. i think i'm getting my sanity back and losing it at the same time. we managed to pull off a holiday today. as i get "me" back, i lose her again. holidays have not been great since i lost mommy. now, it's just like--"get it over with." i try to keep the spirit alive--if for nothing else, for drew.

goods:

i love my daughter and her tulip dress. and she didn't fuss at church.

i did go to church with walter (well, not with him--he had to leave me so he could play) but i was there, even if i was about 45 minutes late)

leda and daddy ran into each other at the cemetery, and after visiting mommy's gravesite, joined us at church

we ate yummies at the original pancake house

had a fun little obama discussion

bads:

no home-cooked Easter meal. daddy cooked, but i have to eat it tomorrow b/c walter wanted to go out.

i went through mom's drawer and found her license--beautiful photo and all, which doesn't expire until 2009. it's still "good."

i still miss her every day. everybody does.

still sometimes trying to find where happy went.

when you're down, where do YOU find your happy?? comments accepted. :)

Comments

[Jude]

What a sweet post. I know it must be so hard to enjoy the holidays without your mom. Remember, she would want you to have fun and make memories for Drew, just like she made for you. :) I love to look at old photos and my scrapbooks when I am down, I usually end up in tears, and then pray... yep, prayer is what helps. :)

[dani]

you don't always have to post about scrapbooking/scrapbooking related things! if that's the new rule.... then my blog is in trouble! :P

Love the cute photos!

I'm bad about being down... I definitely drawn into myself when I'm upset about something, pretty much only want to talk to my husband about it. People are always telling me I need to talk it out and all that... but sometimes, I just need to deal with myself. I just don't always want to rehash it all out with ten different people. I don't want a "big deal" being made.
And I hate being mad/upset/angry/whatever sooo I usually have an hour of complete bawling and then move along for the day and do it all again the next day! Yeah, so basically, no good advice from me, because I'm usually a complete mess...!

[JenniferP]

girl if you are ever down...
...you call me asap!!!

you are such a beautiful soul, artist, mother, woman...

you deserve great happines and laughs and smiles!!!
im glad that you posted again!!
let me know if you ever want to chat it up on messenger or whatevs.

big hugs and kisses to you!!!
i love ya'!
jp. :)

[Michelle Clement]

oooh...Drew is so cute!! And hugs to you and your family...=) I find my happy in Art...and my hubby....and silly little things like letters in the mail. =) he he....love the Dr.Suess party, too!! lovely!

[vee]

i love your post, hugs to you as you continue to miss you mom. It is always hard to lose a parent but you are strong. Your dd is the cutest! :)

[Melanie]

She is soo stinkin cute how old is she!!!!

[Mandy]

Hey Dana, found your comment on my blog, that you found me via Fauve. ;)
I like your scrapstyle!!! I wish I could be more freestyle like you. Isn't that a place where you can find your happy again? Or, maybe just like me, get the down feelings out and create a LO about them. I find myself scrapping about my mom a lot. It helps.
Seeing my dad so miserable hurts more than having to miss her, actually. But no one can take her place, and that hurts too. My dad is all lost in his misery and forgets that he has reasons to live (his kids) and that hurts as well. I need him too, it's like he doesn't realise he has to be mom AND dad now...:(

I understand your pain, I wish you all the best, I know we will get by, but life has lost it's shine, hasn't it...?! Things will never be the same again...